Sunday, June 5, 2016

We Need to Consider the Fact that Johnny Depp May Have Been the Abused, not the Abuser

As I watched Johnny Depp change from a self-assured vivacious man, ever timeless in his inner and outer beauty, to a word-slurring, stuttering, blank-eyed, jumble of nerves, I knew that I had to have been looking in a mirror from my past. 
This entire Johnny Depp/Amber Heard debacle has, I've realized over the days, triggered me back to a hideously abusive relationship I thought I'd recovered from years ago.  I am now nursing re-opened wounds  I only just became conscious were there.  This was not merely triggered from the horrible pictures of Amber's bruised face and the abuse allegations against Johnny.  I have been unconsciously re-living the horrors I experienced from my own experience as the abused one, in a relationship long dissolved over twenty years ago.  It seems insane that any of those memories would haunt me the way they do now, twenty years later.  Especially given the amount of time I'd spent processing and healing from that traumatic time.  When I finally left my abuser and got my life in some semblance of order again, it took a total of seven years before I stopped seeing those beetle-black scrutinizing eyes of his, in my head.  Therapy and close friends as well as family, also helped me re-form my identity and come back to life, so to speak.

Then...Johnny Depp and Amber Heard made headlines as their relationship went from whirlwind romance to marriage, then rumors, then dog drama and finally divorce.  As I followed their news, slowly all the dread, confusion and self-loathing I'd felt under my own perpetrator's spell reared its ugly head yet again.  As I watched Johnny Depp change from a self-assured vivacious man ever timeless in his inner and outer beauty, to a word-slurring, stuttering, blank-eyed, jumble of nerves, I knew that I had to have been looking in a mirror from my past. And the reflection was not pretty.

I wish I had pictures of my own mental and eventually physical change over the course of those four years with that abusive, sick man I'd once believed could do no wrong.  From the time I'd begun living with Michael(not his real name) in the early 90's, to when I left  him four years later, I had become almost a zombie..  Where once I reveled in being alive and doing what I loved, while out and about socializing with amazing friends...I became more and more isolated as my confidence waned.  In time, my mind became more and more muddled.  Not surprisingly, the turmoil within affected my body as well as my mind.  I became more and more fatigued, and slept more than I used to.  I simply stopped caring, about anything, and when I absolutely had to go outside, all I could wear was what fit me, if anything..  Like Johnny, I never put too much stock in what was "fashionable" regarding clothes, jewelry or other accessories.  I never played on my "pretty face." I had my own style that I refused to explain or defend, and I spoke honestly about my views on the world around me.  Inevitably, my inability to say anything other than my own personal truth and nothing but, drew more people to me than if I'd tried to fit in to somebody else's trendy "round hole."   I felt an innate sense of freedom, and great joy to simply be alive.

When Michael came into the picture, I alienated all my friends, one by one.  Inside I was slowly dying.  Ironically, this is exactly the way Johnny Depp described the parents of those brave children with cancer for whom he'd surprise by showing up at hospitals as Captain Jack Sparrow.

Watching Johnny and Amber over the years made me aware that I was definitely looking at a relationship fraught with abuse.   I know what abuse looks like.  How would I not?  I've been there.  I would know the signs as clear as day, having looked in the mirror every morning and seen the frightening change in myself during those toxic four years.

Amber cited Johnny as an emotional and mental abuser as well as a physical one.  Almost always, those suffering from mental and emotional abuse, even if it's not physical, begin to show it.  First, their eyes become glazed over like that of a hostage in a war camp.  Then, eventually their speech becomes stilted as he or she struggles to say EXACTLY what they mean, or perhaps have been pushed to believe they mean.  Their body language changes, and finally, in some cases, their bodies change altogether.  Johnny Depp had never, in his whole career spoken as slowly, as he does now, sometimes agitated and stuttering as he's trying to find whatever word he's looking for in interviews, talks, what-have-you.  Not until he'd spent a considerable amount of time as Amber's husband that is.  Before her, Depp had never gone to important public appearances, particularly those where he had to present an award, visibly drunk or intoxicated.  He'd always spoken clearly and with conviction, at a normal, rapid pace. He was aware of his surroundings everywhere he went.  Yes...even his time with Kate Moss, when his drug abuse became headline news along with his temper, he always seemed to know exactly what he was saying, and where he was headed.  While the Kate Moss days might have had its share of intense drama, there was never the kind of confusion Johnny once joked about wanting to stay in a state of, as there truly was later with Amber.  Certainly, Johnny had never mentioned having narcolepsy before.   Falling asleep for moments at a time, deep sleep?  I remember seeing the movie "My Own Private Idaho" which ironically starred River Phoenix, who, as we know, came to a tragic end outside of Johnny Depp's Viper Room in 1993.  Phoenix's character in  "Idaho" had narcolepsy.  The result of that would be him literally falling to the ground as he thumbed a ride on the highway, deep uncontrollable sleep overtaking him.  While the sleep lasted no more than five minutes usually, almost always, the boy would wake up with serious fear and disorientation on his face, only to realize he'd fallen asleep in a dangerous area.  It was chilling to watch River Phoenix bring such a helpless kid to life as only an amazing actor like him could.   It's a frightening thing that I can't imagine is easy to manage. How did Johnny develop that?

My relationship with Michael, the first man I ever had a serious relationship with(see my first blog post about my bisexuality), was nothing like I had ever experienced before. Even my first serious relationship with an actively alcohol-addicted woman who also emotionally abused me, never compared to this.  Michael used  manipulative, mind controlling techniques that seriously messed with my head, to a point where I thoroughly believed that he was the only one who not only knew what was best for me, but that  I'd never do any better than him. Everyone else in my life, Michael insisted, had only been "playing" with me for fun because I was this "crazy lady" they saw as a novelty and hilarious conversation piece.  Yes, even my own family supposedly played this game with me.  Deep down, what they"really" thought of me was not pleasant at all.  Michael literally had me believing that everybody in my life, family included, would smile in my face and then go behind my back and laugh about how "delusional"  and "stupid" I was. Not that Michael ever was physically present for those apparent conversations but he always said he SAW it happening--with a "sixth sense" of sorts.  Yes, Michael proclaimed himself a psychic, a thing that of course puts a black mark on anyone who even talks about psychics, let alone calls themselves one.  But that's another ball of yarn altogether.

Bottom line, according to one had ever truly loved me. Not my family, not my friends, no one. Not until HE had come along!

Michael quickly became what I considered to be a spiritual mentor.  I did need, and felt I was ready for, some focus and guidance to help me expand on the life I was carving out for myself.  Raised an athiest, I never had believed in anything spiritual, but when  Michael came along, I really felt I was ready to learn what it was about.  It turned out I really loved the path Michael was showing me, and I felt like  I'd come home to a place that had only been a stone's throw away from me.  It was an incredibly powerful experience, so I thought at the time.

Shortly after Michael became my mentor, however,, he became my boyfriend.   This was where all the trouble started.   The problem with mentorship of any kind, it never mixes with romance, as I found out the hard way. Relationships are always most successful when the partners work together equally.  Obviously most of us know that even if a percentage of us don't.  Anyway, when I became romantically involved with Michael, I still looked to him for guidance.  By then, Michael had put me on a pedestal as being "ready," to be with him as an equal partner, my having "evolved" faster than he ever thought  I would.  His stalwart pride in me, and his gentle love and passion for me made me feel on top of the world.

However, Michael became disappointed very quickly when he realized I was still, after all, human, and prone to emotions that sometimes got in the way of his training of higher-level thinking.  This would send him into rages.  Instead of being compassionate and helping me through whatever roadblock was holding me back--even though I was willing to be helped--he was furious that I even HAD the roadblocks.  How could I allow myself to "wallow" in emotion that only temporarily took me out of what he thought was such a spiritually secure place?  How DARE  I become "lazy" like that, he would shout?

Even Jesus had doubts as a human, as we know, when He cried, "Take this Cup from my Lips!"  Even knowing this, many spiritualists still preach constant "Higher-Mind" thinking, positive thoughts, peace and love.  No anger, no sadness, no questioning anything.  Just all-out acceptance of "what is," at all times.

"What is," in  Michael's case(and mine, if I'd known better), should have included no romance between student and teacher.  Always, in a romantic relationship, issues come out, old baggage that any healthy partner would share with you and help you through.  We all, in relationships, must allow ourselves to be vulnerable.  When that includes sometimes unpleasant emotions, it only harms the relationship if such feelings are not addressed directly, with love.  The honest journey through whatever past hurts might arise and coming out with a fresher perspective, only serves to strengthen a healthy relationship, not weaken it.

For me,  it was just devastating when I felt I'd finally found a life path I needed and loved, only to have my beloved teacher in that path become vicious when I dared to doubt myself or feel something other than "positive" emotions.  Michael, instead of understanding and giving me loving compassion while I processed the feeling, merely shamed me for it.  Whenever any fear, sadness or anger caused me to "lose my way," I would always have to convince Michael that it was only temporary.  Once I processed it, I'd beg him to understand,, I would definitely be able to get back on track.   Michael just wouldn't hear it, however.  I had to be strong at all times, positive through and through.  "You should be over your negativity and confusion by now!" he'd shout.  Never mind that I was only human, and no matter how far I'd come with overcoming hurts from my past, there was still uncertainty at times.  After all, I had only just embraced something brand new that I wasn't fully used to yet. . So I would lose my perspective sometimes. It happens to the best of us, I'd shout at Michael.   It did not have to hinder our relationship...sometimes these spells of mine only lasted five minutes!  Any relationship built on full authenticity and love should be able to withstand that!

It was clear that Michael's and my relationship did NOT have any real, unconditional love, or acceptance of honest humanity.  I learned that all too quickly, although I still tried to make it work, for the next four years.

One of the worst things  Michael would do was literally "excommunicate" me from the spiritual path I was trying to master.  He'd speak powerful words to the effect that I had "disgraced all that is Divine," when I would say or do one too  many things that disagreed with him.  It didn't just pertain to the spiritual path however, now that romance was involved and we lived together.  It pertained to just about everything I did, everything  I WAS.  I'd end up begging forgiveness and, figuratively speaking, "prostrating" myself before Michael, as if his forgiveness and word would put me back in favor with the Divine Force I so desperately needed to "please."

This is just one example of what abusers can use as a "weapon" to bash you emotionally and/or physically.  When that weapon  is in the form of something you love and value almost above yourself, it becomes all the more damaging.

Despite his "elevated mind," Michael was as human as I was but he never acknowledged it.  He was a raging alcoholic and so was I, and my temper tended to get worse when I drank.  Michael was determined to stamp my "demonic temper" out of me so that I wouldn't verbally abuse him, ever.  No one should verbally abuse anyone, of course...that's a given.  However, even while I did learn how to put my words in order, stating only what bothered me, not pointing fingers or cursing Michael out? Eventually everything I even said, never mind how I said it, was thoroughly invalidated. No matter what, Michael was always right.   I learned quickly not to ever question Michael, for when I did, he would again "condemn" me as a dark soul, hopeless to teach a spiritual path to, let alone love or value as a human being.

I became a shell of my former self very quickly. My aspirations of becoming a working rock singer and guitarist, either in a band or solo, petered out completely. Before I met Michael, I was just beginning to make a name for myself, however small, at a popular bar in Philadelphia. I would play their weekly open-mic nights, and be applauded vigorously by the staff and customers.  It got to a point where eventually I got requests for their "favorites."   It made me feel good, like I had a future ahead of me. I was still in my twenties.  I should have a chance, thought I!  I never cared if I made millions of dollars and I certainly didn't want people "worshipping" me.  But I did want to play my songs out, have them be heard, and see what kind of difference I could make in this world through music.  Bruce Springsteen and other amazing songwriters like him, had inspired me, and I wanted to give something back, if I could.  That very bar was where I met Michael, who came back after one of my performances and told me I had touched him with my words, voice and music.  This led to a conversation about our lives and what we were most passionate about...and the rest was history.  Michael was a talented musician specializing in keyboards, singing and writing songs, and when I heard what he could do after he handed me a tape, I was determined to start a band, or at least a duo act, with him.

By the time the romance started and I moved in with Michael, it became clear that I was definitely not going to collaborate musically with him beyond the four walls we would practice in.  Michael did not want a music career, and he looked down his nose at those who did, calling them "fame and money whores," or words to that effect. , He strongly advised me to let go of the "obsession," as he called it, for fame.   He ,himself, was perfectly happy to keep his songs locked up in his home, giving them only to the Divine.  Who needed fame, let alone money?  It was overrated, Michael insisted.   I listened to him,of course. When I made the dreadful decision not to pursue music as a job ever again, I automatically shut down on any feelings of regret that would arise.  I did really miss communicating with the people and the audience and loved discussing music with all of them after the show.  A little of me died after I stopped playing the open-mic night slots.  I  did play a lot of music in the house with Michael, writing songs with him that were pretty good, I thought, but my passion for music and creating it, let alone playing and singing it, had all but died.  It was, instead, replaced by a robotic need to be "regular" and simply make my money as a waitress or a cashier somewhere, for the rest of my life, while keeping my music in a closet.

 One time, I got a phone call from a woman whose band I'd once auditioned for.  Her band became very prominent in Philadelphia, featured in the City Paper often, playing gigs at well-known clubs, even opening for famous acts!  Well, she called me and wanted to work on music with me and I turned her down. Why?  I knew Michael wouldn't like it.  He'd started to criticize my music by then, when we would play together. He verbally bashed  my singing and guitar playing abilities, and especially hated my songs.  What he'd once praised to the hilt when he first met me, he then trampled in the dirt until it became non-existent.

I stopped playing guitar and singing. I certainly would not play music with Michael. Instead,  To calm the circus in my mind, I took to writing, and would hide out in a room I'd made just for me.  There, I type out my books or thoughts on a word processor I'd bought with money I'd won gambling when we went to Atlantic City. Michael became incensed by my "withdrawal," and shamed me for not playing music anymore.  He bitterly complained when I wasn't spending "enough time" with  him.  When the physical attack finally happened, Michael was in the middle of a particularly pontificating speech, every carefully enunciated word of his, as usual, smashing my whole existence into pieces.

Something in me finally snapped.

I had to shut Michael up, but I wasn't going to hit him, not by a long shot.  It was never my way to hit first, and, certainly, never in a romantic relationship!  In my desperation, I did the only thing I could think of, that would at least distract Michael out of his relentless tirade.  I picked up an almost full can of beer that I'd begun drinking, and poured it directly over Michael's head.

No, it certainly wasn't a nice thing to do, but at least it wasn't physical violence like hitting or punching someone, I reasoned.   I figured that Michael would stop preaching and immediately scold me for such an immature action.  I also thought he'd probably laugh, even while putting me down for acting like such a child.

The response I got, however, shocked me to no end.  Michael slapped my face, and hard.

Stunned, I went into self-defense mode and slapped him back, as is my way when struck first.  We slapped each other back and forth for a few seconds before I finally turned to leave. Michael promptly threw me up against the wall hurting my back and shoulders, as well as my head, the back of which had hit the wall hard.  When I fought to get away, he held me pinioned. He slapped me again, harder than before, when I told him to let me go.  I yelled at him for slapping me, and he just laughed in my face.

Then, he proceeded to go into another speech about how pouring beer over someone's head is just as much physical abuse as hitting someone.  I vehemently denied that, saying that no, my  "christening" Michael with beer(by the way, that's great for your hair!) did not remotely compare to me being slapped, then thrown and restrained against the wall  We argued back and forth verbally, between slaps to  my face, my arms being restrained from hitting back.  When I finally called Michael a "son of a b----," my anger having taken me to a place of not caring about verbal abuse?  He slapped me so hard, my head hit the wall again, and I really thought I was going to pass out.  Then, Michael proceeded to bite me on the arm.  He told me not to DARE insult his mother.  This resulted in me once again, trying to get away, but always, I was thrown back onto the wall.  I could not escape him.

Finally, I had no choice but to apologize to Michael and admit he was right about not only the beer, but what he was lecturing me about that had angered me so  much.  We went on with the rest of the night, and Michael later  joked that those "love taps" didn't hurt me.

Why did I stay after that?  I was appalled at myself, but  I stayed for about one or two more months. Finally, after one of my favorite cousins, Chris, died at 34 years old of cancer, I couldn't take it anymore.  Being at Chris's memorial and seeing how many wonderful friends he had...and hearing about what a passionate, full life he'd lived, made me realize how I had wasted my own life for far too long.  I moved out of Michael's house in 1996 and temporarily stayed with my parents, before, once again, carving out a new life, difficult as it was.  However, a new FREEDOM had come over me.  When I left Michael, I never looked back.  Passion, revived joy and a new motivation had returned to me, after too many years, four, of living a life devoid of any hope whatsoever.

Now, as I look at Johnny Depp in the photos onstage with Hollywood Vampires,  I see a new resurgence in his eyes and face that was not there when still with Amber.  I see life returning, passion being reawakened.  the same way that it did with me.  I see Johnny Depp finally freed from a turbulent and soul-stealing situation, and fully embracing that freedom.  While Amber may have been Johnny's "Michael," obviously  I don't know the details of their relationship.  However, looking at  Amber then and now,, even with her "bruised face," and declaration of Johnny's multifaceted abuse, all I remember is how strong, beautiful and vibrant she always looked in those pictures with Johnny. He, on the other hand...well, you saw him.  You know.

Those of you who have been abused, really fully know what it looks like.

We need to at least consider that before Johnny Depp's name becomes completely "taboo" in Hollywood, at least in the worst case scenario.  Wait for the trial.  Just wait for that sit-down interview he's reported to give when he is finished touring with Hollywood Vampires.

We will know then which one of them was my "Michael."  And...karma will take care of whatever it has to take care of.  As will the law.

I thank you for reading, and wish you all freedom, passion and epic joy in whatever your life paths might be.

Friday, June 3, 2016

What was the Point of Amber Heard Going Public with Abuse Claims Before Depp is Actually Proven "Guilty?"

When it comes to divorces and's wisest to keep things as private as possible.  Even if there is domestic abuse involved. Amber Heard was quoted as saying once that one of the most important things to her in life is her privacy.  Meanwhile, she's already gone to the media and won the hearts of many, for her "bravery" in speaking out about domestic abuse.  It's one thing to do that  after the trial, when the alleged abuser is found guilty, but why put the whole story out this soon?  Why would Heard's managers/lawyers not do what they could to prevent the press from filming her walking to the car after leaving the court with the restraining order?  Even if they couldn't do that, she could have hidden the bruise just to protect HER privacy, not necessarily Johnny's.  But, while  Johnny has been going along with his life and traveling with his band on their pre-scheduled tour...all of a sudden he's flamed as a wife-beater before he can even speak up--at the COURT hearing, which is where all these things are sorted out.  Why did Amber allow this to go SO public, and then suddenly decide not to press charges because she "doesn't want to bury Johnny" and actually "still loves him?"

In my view, at this point, it doesn't matter who is telling the truth or not.  It was  not only poor judgement on Amber's end, it was INSANE to have made such a huge deal over it this soon.

She went and got a restraining order.  That would have been enough.  Why do we need to see all those horrible pictures and read all those terrible things?  Why?  Don't we have enough problems in the world without all this?  It's upsetting to look at those pictures, and it triggers people who have been abused in the past.  It's not necessary, and I simply don't understand the motivation for Amber to allow that, or better yet, her LAWYERS, and/or management team--without a motive of sorts.  Or a mental illness, what-have-you.  Aside from that?  Who DOES this stuff?

If in fact Depp did abuse her, it would come out in the court, and he would be punished as is necessary. THEN Amber could go out and talk about all the agony she suffered if she desperately needs the public to know.  But spare us the pictures, please, Good Lord!  Her doing this now, particularly after being flamed online for filing so soon after Johnny's mom died...strongly supports Laura Wasser's statement.  Amber really must be incredibly bothered about being painted in a negative light on the media.  Why, with such a "fiercely independent spirit" should she CARE?  People have opinions, so what?  Tabloids gossip, get over it!  They don't know what goes on behind closed doors.  And...why does Heard have time to read the news and gossip on her, much less allow her "friends" to tell her about it--if she's so upset and traumatized by all she's allegedly suffered?  If I were her and I were abused by my husband...and both of us were famous, etc...I would NEVER want my friends or family to tell me about the gossip.  If  I were famous I would not even READ the news on me.  What is going on with Amber, why does she want added stress on top of all that she's been through with what she claims happened for "years?"

 If she feels so unsafe and lives in fear...she's got that covered with the restraining order, whether Johnny is out of the country or not    And, as for her nameless "pal" who revealed Johnny tried to suffocate Amber with a pillow...can you smell trying to capitalize on someone's fame??  I can.  I mean, that is attempted murder there.  Why is  Johnny not in jail, considering all this detailed horrible abuse he was accused of?  Come on you REALLY think, after the Australia debacle that LAPD is protecting Johnny's reputation by not doing what they're supposed to do with every abuse case?  Come on.  Remember O.J. Simpson? He drove away, fleeing from the cops on the highway for miles after the Nicole Brown incident.  They caught him and arrested him right away and then he was tried.  Johnny Depp?  He is not worried at all. Don't you think that's a bit odd?  Anyone guilty would not be partying or reported to be "flirting" with blondes, brunettes, Amber look-alikes or what-have-you.  He'd have given Amber her friggin spousal support, or even half of his reported "massive fortune," if he'd really abused her that way for "years,' much less tried to murder Amber in a "drunken rage!"

Look at all we've seen so far of the alleged abuse. Triggering photos, triggering stories, horrible details, TEXT messages??  Johnny is already buried. He is being branded as a wife-beater and delusional, paranoid, substance-addicted maniac before he can even open his mouth and say, "Yes, I did it," or "No, I didn't, and here's the proof."  "Alice: Through the Looking Glass" flopped, probably in large part due to all this media on Amber's claims.  Mia Wasakovia, Sascha Baron Cohen, James Bobin...did THEY deserve that after the hard work they put into this movie?  No.  WHY did Amber let this happen if there wasn't some kind of motive, more than likely mental illness?  Naturally, all we learned about Amber is that she's an ambitious career woman, so why would she want to damage her reputation--right?  It's just insanity to report this now, however. She landed a great role in the  Justice League series, didn't she?  What does she have to prove?  Johnny's reputation has already plummeted in the last few years due to movie flops, drunken appearances, "not aging well," and what is he doing?  A majorly successful tour with Hollywood Vampires, where he finally gets to live his dream, doing music.  He never cared about "reputations," anyway, he just wants to do what he loves, and have a good life.  Why, Amber?  Just why?  What is your POINT?

There are mental illnesses, several of them, that detail behavior like Amber has been displaying. One is Narcissistic Personality Disorder, another is Pathological Lying.  It doesn't matter how successful someone is--if they are a Pathological Liar, they can't help it--they lie. It's automatic, they just can't stop themselves.  I say this for yet another consideration here--just so people know that it's not necessarily about Amber being a gold-digger or villain.  If she is sick with any or both of these disorders, she simply can't help herself.  A healthy, well-balanced person wouldn't put herself in the media for so many people to BASH her if they already "hate" her or support her and give her the attention she seeks.  Not if Amber really cares about working her craft and creating a good impression for more directors to hire her.  We all know she doesn't have Depp's seniority and one would think she's lived under his shadow long enough and would want to be free to do her thing.  Why, when she "values her privacy" so much, is she going so public with this, before Depp is even proven guilty?

If she wants to talk about awareness regarding Violence Against Women, fine.  We know what an activist Amber has been in  many great causes.  But why not wait until AFTER the trial, so she can recuperate from all this stuff she says Depp did to her?  Does SHE like seeing the pictures and reliving all this crap?  It's not something a healthy person would do.  Not by a long shot. I am not a doctor but I know a thing or two about mental illness. I live with Bipolar Depression and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.  I'm doing very well, thanks to good treatment, and most of all, being AWARE of it. Overall, I think Amber would do well talking to a psychiatrist and psychologist.   Even if she is, for the sake of argument, telling the truth. The timing of her allegations and public evidence just doesn't make sense otherwise, and any otherwise healthy individual who suffered abuse like that  would NOT want that stress, in addition to all the post-trauma of it.

Did she really think, with all the haters she had by many definite Johnny Depp worshippers,who claimed she brought him to ruin--that she wouldn't receive SOME backlash?  Yes, there are legitimate reasons for people to be upset by Depp supporters because--I am sure some of them really ARE trying to deny that their "hero" could be a wife-beater.  It is legitimate, even though I don't identify with that mentality.  What, on this great earth, would any healthy person in Amber's position EXPECT?  She would have been better able to cope with it all if she kept quiet, at least until the jury is out.  Regardless of what did or didn't happen.

Trial-by-media and the #imwithamber hashtag campaign has found  Johnny Guilty as Charged, without even knowing his side of the story.  They brand people like Vanessa Paradis, Lily-Rose-Depp, Jerry Judge, Sean Bett, and let's NOT forget Doug having completely violated the Stop Violence Against Women campaign, and living "proof"of why many women still don't speak out about or report domestic violence done to them.  ESPECIALLY when the "abuser" is the Great and Powerful Captain Jack Sparrow, a.k.a. Johnny Depp.

Oh, the horror!  And don't get me started on the constant cyber-bullying on the comments' section of many of these articles.  It's horrible and NONE of us need this crap..

What Amber and her law team have done and the reaction to it merely FORCED people like Vanessa,  Lily-Rose and Doug Stanhope to speak out. Say what one will about Stanhope's "poorly written" column, but at least he gave us a different side to the story that I am sure will at least be considered in court.  Let's face it folks,  Johnny really is trying to take the high road here, which is the best thing he can do for himself.  Laura Wasser came out with one statement, that again, she was forced to make since she is representing Depp and has a job to do.  She had to at least speak up for him since Amber's law team are so thoroughly bent on playing dirty with the press. Wasser won't play those games with them, however...her statement said enough.  She doesn't have time for this...she has other people to represent, after all.  She has acted very professionally in all this and so has Johnny, despite his reported "partying" antics.  He's stressed out.  I would be too.  Leave the poor guy alone until he's proven guilty or innocent, whatever it is.

Plus he just lost his mother.  If friends and family were worried about Depp's health before, they have every good reason in the world to fear for it now.  Even if he is, in fact, guilty!  He's doing better though than some may think, in my opinion.  Going out and playing music and having good friends like Alice Cooper and the band to lean on, plus the support of his fans?  That has to be some kind  of therapy for Johnny--even if he is drinking a lot, which has been a concern for a long time.  He's doing the best he can, and getting through  it.  To my way of thinking, if he were guilty, he would have self-destructed completely the first day Amber's story came out.  While I shudder to think about what could have happened in that would not have been pretty. 

However?  Such was not the case. Johnny's got this.  There's no doubt.  We need to expect SOME unhealthy behavior, due to stress, i.e. the drinking, but overall,  Johnny's trucking on just fine. There's very considerable reason for that, and we can only wait until the truth comes out in the trial to learn what the reason is.  Meanwhile, let's not call him an uncaring, misogynistic monster anymore until we find out.   Sound good?  Savvy?

All in all, the timing of these abuse allegations, despite all the support she's getting, puts a pretty black mark on Amber Heard's reputation in the end.  It's also a black mark on Samantha Spector and her team of flaming "warriors for Amber."I'm sorry, but dig deeper under the social issues of violence against women, and you'll see what I mean..

You don't have to be a psychiatrist to know that Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Pathological Lying really do point to Heard.  As for Depp?  He might be an alcoholic who hits walls.  Give him rehab and some bonafide support and he'll be fine.

 And, leave the reality shows to the Kardashians next time.

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Johnny Depp-Amber Heard: What Has This Taught us about Domestic Violence and Human Rights?

The fury-filled responses to everyone who has even raised an eyebrow to the domestic violence allegations made by Amber Heard, soon-to-be ex-wife of mega-superstar Johnny Depp hold great power.  So much power that many are scared to even argue back...even though some continue to do so. The end result, so far, have been reminders of just why women who are beaten by their husbands or boyfriends, whatnot, are afraid to speak out.  The whole situation is treated as yet another case of women who are battered and emotionally brought down by misogynistic men who revel in the power they have over their female partners.  Women's rights still have a long way to go, despite the strides we have made.  We need, at all times, to remember those horrible days when women were discounted and told that "You asked for it," whenever they complained about men hitting them.

Remember Farrah Faucett in her acclaimed TV movie "The Burning Bed?"  That movie, based on a true story, was set in a time and place where no woman dared complain about a violent husband. The woman Faucett portrayed was most definitely battered and emotionally abused for a long time, and despite her pleas for help, she got none. No support, whatsoever, even from her family, never mind the law.  This finally pushed her so far over the edge, she set her husband on fire as he slept in his bed. She ended up not serving time in jail, as awareness of domestic violence against women hit everyone who'd refuted her claims right between the eyes.

A horrific story such as this is only one  in many reasons why so many of us feel we CANNOT question any woman's story of abuse by a man.  There is no way anyone can even wonder about do so is to contribute to the mentality that women are still discounted in abuse claims and anyone who refutes her claims is most definitely insulting the crusade of "Stop Violence Against Women." In other words, to even frown at any woman who accuses her husband of abuse is to risk being labeled blind, man-worshipping misogynists. 

Even if there just might be logical reasons for questioning a woman's abuse claims that have nothing, whatsoever, to do with misogyny or sexism. 

Unfortunately, misogynistic hatred of women  is still alive and well, despite how far women have come in what was once seen as "a man's world."  Many men are quick to defend the man being accused, calling them "a great guy," who "only was putting her in her place."   And yes, even women can be misogynists, standing up for men who beat up women and passionately declaring that "She had it coming."  "What did she expect after how she acted towards him?"  "She provoked him."  And other such outrageous arguments. 

It's a terrible reality that still, to this day, keeps women who are abused by men terrified to speak out.

And it's even worse when that man is a high-profile and extremely popular celebrity.

But...are ALL of us misogynistic hero-worshippers in the Johnny Depp case?  Just because so many women are attracted to his great looks, charm, talent and free-spirited outlook on life?  And just because many men admire him and aspire to be like him, perhaps--not to mention fellow actors/musicians/directors who loved and still love working with him?

We all saw Amber  Heard's graphic photos of her bruised face, and her long report detailing every violent thing Johnny did to her throughout their fifteen-month marriage.  We watched, stunned, as Amber walked out of the courtroom surrounded by her lawyer, friends and security team. We saw the somber look on  her face, and the brownish bruise just under her right cheekbone, a bruise left over from the beating she allegedly received by Depp six days before, on Saturday, May 21st.  

We saw the two photos of Amber bursting into violent sobs when she finally reached the shelter of the SUV she was being driven in.  Her friends comforted her as she held her face and wept.  That, the photos and her lengthy report on her marriage convinced many people that Amber was truly the victim of serious abuse.  Yes, by none other than the "great" Johnny Depp.

Even after all that, there were arguments against Amber's case.   Arguments expressed by Johnny's former partners Vanessa Paradis and Lori Ann Allison, as well as Johnny's daughter by Paradis, Lily Rose Depp.  Stars like Mickey Roarke and Paul Bettany who had worked with Johnny in several movies, called him a "low-key guy" and "not the violent type."  Johnny's famous lawyer Laura Wasser produced a statement, words to the effect that said Amber was trying to obtain quick spousal support which she was originally denied, by accusing Johnny of abuse.  

Then, shockingly, comedian Doug Stanhope who claimed to be a friend of Depp's, published a radically controversial article in The Wrap, a reputable Hollywood news magazine, not a mere tabloid.  The article had Stanhope calling Amber Heard an "a-hole" and a "demon" who had "manipulated and blackmailed" Johnny Depp all through their marriage.  He described a conversation with Johnny at the actor's apartment just hours before the alleged incident on Saturday, May 21st. According to Stanhope, Johnny, who was also grieving the death of his mother Betty Sue Palmer which occurred the previous day, opened up for the first time about Amber. Johnny allegedly confided that Amber was going to divorce him.  Not only that, but she actually "threatened to lie about  Johnny in the worst possible way if Johnny didn't agree to her terms."

Now, the latest defense of Depp comes from two of his security guards, Jerry Judge and Sean Bett. These two have, according to several online magazines, stated that they were "there" when the big blowout between Johnny and Amber took place last Saturday.  Apparently, both guards were stationed outside the apartment when they suddenly heard Amber scream "Stop hitting me!" Naturally, ,they burst into the apartment only to find  Amber sitting on the couch, unharmed and Johnny in the kitchen, about twenty feet away from Amber. They even said that they had witnessed several previous incidents in their marriage where Heard had actually attacked Johnny physically.  They were quoted as saying they had to "pull her off of him," more than once.   Bett and Judge are said to be planning to testify on Johnny's behalf in the trial set for June 17th.

Amber Heard's statement has those same two guards "standing by" and not doing a thing while Johnny continued to hit Amber.  Amber also alleged that she was on the phone with famous LGTB activist and friend, iO Tillet Wright when Johnny grabbed the phone out of her hand and threw it at Amber's face, causing the bruises in the published photo.  Wright was said to have called the police after that, but by the time they got there, Johnny had apparently run out of the apartment.  

The police report stated that there was "no evidence of a crime" and that Heard did not have any sign of injury.  Amber refused to file a report against Johnny Depp so they left her with a business card with a note to call them if she "changed her mind."

Now?  After all of this back-and-forth and still no word on whether police are questioning Johnny Depp, the news is now focusing on finances with the couple, and detailing Heard's monthly earnings. Then, an unnamed "pal" of Amber's just came out with a shocking exclusive of how Johnny once tried to--suffocate Amber Heard with a pillow during a drunken rage.  Okay, so now we have attempted murder along with domestic abuse.  What next?  The same article goes on to reveal exactly how Johnny broke his hand last March, 2015.  Apparently, Heard was WITH him in an apartment in Australia, when he reportedly punched a wall so hard, it broke his hand.  This certainly contradicts the original report that had Johnny staying at a friend's mansion at the time of the injury. There were two "tales" of what happened to his hand.... one was a go-karting accident and the other was a fight with Heard Johnny had over the phone which resulted in him punching a glass door and shattering it. Still more contradictions follow as earlier this year, after the dog drama resolved itself, we saw an affidavit written by Heard to the Australian Court before the trial.  She claimed to have come home to L.A. while Johnny was recovering from the hand injury, to find Depp under 24-hour medical care. Reportedly, Amber was returning home after she finished filming "The Danish Girl."  

Rather than obsess about contradicting reports however,  I will now detail the reasons why I myself am questioning Amber Heard's allegations.  In a nutshell? There are just too many plotholes.

We first heard about Amber filing for divorce last Monday, May 23rd.  We saw the divorce complaint published in TMZ magazine which was available for download. Heard claimed "irreconcilable differences" as the reason for the divorce.  She also stated that she wanted "spousal support" and "payment of her attorney fees."  Johnny was quick to respond through his attorney, denying her request for either.  Samantha Spector, Heard's attorney and Heard herself both signed the divorce complaint.  Heard had to have met with Spector that day, or gone to the court to file.  Why, then, was Monday not mentioned as the first day Spector or anyone in the court saw the bruises? Heard went to court last Friday with Spector with a small bruise under her right cheekbone, complete with all her photographic and written evidence of domestic violence.  The judge, while he did issue a temporary restraining order preventing Depp from going no more than a hundred feet near his wife, denied Amber's request that Pistol, her dog, be protected from Depp, and ALSO denied, again, spousal support, and use of the Range Rover.  Amber was permitted to live in the condominium but that was all she was able to obtain.  In any abuse case with photos like that, Amber would have recieved everything she asked for, no questions asked.  In fact, rewinding back to the night of the incident itself, the cops would have had to go after Depp regardless of whether Amber filed a report or not. That is, if there was definite evidence of a crime.  Depp was on the Jimmy Kimmel show Monday night.  Would he not have been arrested right there if there were evidence of a crime?

I think it's safe to say that--yes, he would have been!

This claim also took place three days after Heard was denied both spousal support and payment of attorney fees by Depp. Until Friday, Amber was trashed all over the internet for filing for divorce just three days after Johnny's mother died.  People were calling her "cold-hearted" and "insensitive," or words to that effect. There were even articles that stated that Johnny's whole family had always hated Amber, and that his mother called her a "terrible person" who "treated Johnny like crap."  People Magazine was quick to refute that claim by publishing an article about how Amber "stood by" Betty Sue Palmer all through her illness and was very loving and supportive.  It went on to refute the originally reported reason why Johnny "only saw his mother once" since his marriage to Amber, until Betty Sue moved in with them shortly before her passing.  According to those claims, Amber herself went out of her way to keep  Johnny and his mother apart.  People and other magazines, however, claimed that Depp himself had made the choice not to see much of his mother, a story I dismissed right from go. Why would  Johnny Depp decide not to see his own mother much, especially when she was dealing with a terminal illness?  He loved Betty Sue and absolutely treasures his family.  He has a tattoo with Betty Sue's name on it.  It didn't make sense then and it doesn't now.  It could well have been mere gossip by press people who are fans of Amber, trying to refute the hate stories and make her look a saint to the family. However, I wonder how, if Amber did support Betty  Sue until her dying day, would that poor woman feel if she were alive today?  Given that Amber has now accused her son of domestic violence?  It just doesn't add up.  Again, this may or  may not have come from  Amber herself.  However, it's very strange that when those statements were not strong enough to stop the Amber-bashing online--three days later, Amber claimed Johnny abused her.  It certainly gives some weight to Laura Wasser's statement that Amber was reacting to the negative media she got after her timing in filing for the divorce.

There are glaring discrepancies in Heard's photographic and video evidence as well.  The three photographs published showed bruises on different parts of her face.  The photograph directly identified with the cell-phone throwing attack has red bruises around her eyes, but nothing, whatsoever beneath her cheekbones.  The other two photographs are said to have been taken after other times Johnny abused Amber.  One photograph has a brown bruise under her right cheekbone, just like we saw in the video where Amber walked from the courthouse to her car.  However, the alleged "cell phone" photograph had no bruise whatsoever, under either of her cheekbones.  Also...where was the swelling? No one with bruises like that doesn't swell up like a balloon.  I have so many female friends who have been beaten like that who said that their faces also swelled as the bruises grew.  I myself have been beaten once or twice and never, with any bruising, have I not swelled up.   It just doesn't look believable.

Johnny Depp has been stone silent all this time, even while others spoke out in his defense, their statements having very little effect on either Amber's law team or her supporters online.  Previously in the week before the abuse claims, Johnny's rep put out a statement saying that given his mother's death and the divorce in general after such a short time, Depp would not respond to any lies about his personal life.  Why did he say that?  It sounds, suspiciously like Stanhope's story holds a lot of water.  Ask yourselves this question...why would Johnny deny Amber spousal support after "offering her money" after the reported "beating" on Saturday the 21st occurred?  Why wouldn't Johnny be falling all over Amber, paying her as much money as she wanted if he really wanted to "save" his career, like many Amber supporters are saying in the news?  Why?  Don't you think if he actually had abused Amber that many times during their marriage that he would be terrified of losing his kids among other things?  I think  it's crystal clear that he would have given Amber everything, even the kitchen sink,if  her statements are true.  It's not only his reputation, which  he is famous for not caring much about, on the line.  He is a father, and the court would no doubt prevent him from seeing his kids if it is proven that every ugly thing he allegedly did to Amber, from verbal and emotional to physical abuse, is the truth and nothing but the truth.  

Unless he really is a soul-less, misogynistic pig who thinks he's above it all, like Amber supporters, including her lawyers, appear to be saying--Johnny Depp would not be behaving as he is now.  He would not be playing onstage with his band and smiling at fans as if nothing ever happened.  Never mind him holing up in his room.  He would never have denied spousal support to Amber in the first place.  .

My theory?  Doug Stanhope, Jerry Judge and Sean Bett told the truth, and Johnny is calling Amber's bluff.  Not only that, but he is waiting it out to see how far she will go before the truth finally comes out.

However, the ongoing fight for women's freedom against domination by men, be it physical assault, psychological torture, career issues, what have you makes it very difficult for me or anyone else to point out the obvious holes in Amber's story.  That is, without being flamed and cyber-bullied as I and others have been, on such comment sites as Disquis, in response to the Amber v. Johnny articles.

Amber is a woman.  By the feminist code, thanks to past horrors of male domination which do indeed support the logic of this code--NO one questions a woman. No one.  Not in a domestic abuse case, that's for sure.  How DARE anyone question Amber Heard?  How dare ANYONE point out any discrepancies in her story or question her motives?  How DARE we?  Amber Heard is a WOMAN!  I, as a woman am actually defending an alleged wife-beater who hasn't even spoken in his own voice about HIS side of the story.  I, according to outraged members on Disquis as well as other places, have "let down" everything I've fought for all my life.  Women's freedom to be human, not property, LGTB rights, and everything that "defines" me as a woman and a liberal who only wants all human beings treated as equals.

However--have I REALLY let anyone down?  Truly?

I was raised a feminist and a liberal.  I was born in 1967 before the feminist movement really took off.  My mother raised me to be tough, and not to cry every time someone bullied me.  She raised me to fight back, and stand up for myself.  My parents both also taught me pacifism, and not to hit anyone, ever.  Even if I was hit first.  It was all about REASONING with the bully, and if they wouldn't see reason, simply walk away.  But not before speaking up for myself and declaring that  I will not be treated like that.

Almost always, the bullies would chase after me and beat the crap out of me anyway.  I wish sometimes, much as I love my mom, that she'd been a little more like Betty Sue Depp Palmer, who once told her son Johnny to "take a brick and lay out" any little snot who put their hands on him.

Oops--did I just condone violence??

It's easy to see how liberal and feminist teachings have almost become like an institution every bit as oppressive as male-dominating invalidation of women.  Not to mention homophobia, racism, everything to do with disrespecting the "minority" as, unfortunately many who have suffered prejudice are still called.

Like Amber, I too am bisexual, and I don't try to hide it for any reason. In my entire life, I have only had two serious romantic relationships with men, and about seven relationships with women before then.  Before my first relationship with a man that began when I was twenty-four in 1992, I mentally "convinced" myself that I was a full-on lesbian.  Like many bisexuals who have undergone scrutiny and some prejudice by both the homosexual and heterosexual communities, I was too insecure in my youth to admit I really did have leanings toward both genders.  As an activist who wanted a better world, I felt drawn to want to protect homosexuals from bigotry and oppression.  I also truly loved the women I dated.  It behooved me, I thought, to really figure out which gender I really preferred. My subconscious "choice" actually haunted me for all those five years since I came out in 1986, because no matter how I tried to deny it, I was still very attracted to men as well as women.

When I finally allowed myself the freedom to accept that I do love both genders, it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.  This and many other experiences I've had over the years led me to the place where I am today, and where I stand on humanity and rights for all.

I no longer call myself a feminist.  I don't call myself a liberal, a moderate, a conservative or any of those labels. In fact, starting now, I'm not even going to call myself bisexual anymore.  Like Amber Heard once said of herself during an interview, "I don't label myself one thing or another. I love who I love."  It's the same with me. I am a lover and a human being.

I am also a fighter when I have to be, but the only time I will ever hit another adult human being(hitting children is not an option!) is if she or he hits me first.  I have always been that way, and will continue to be.  Self-defense is a necessary prevention against being killed or at least seriously injured. I am not a doormat and I refuse to be one for the sake of preserving "pacifism over violence."

I believe in human rights for all people.  I believe in order to get there, we all need to work together, showing unconditional love for one another.  This said, even though I don't believe Amber's claims that Johnny abused her?  I do not see Amber as a villain. I see her as a lost soul, very ill, who needs support and healing so she can find her way back to the positive path she and all of us are meant to be on.  The path that will eventually end hate, violence, and above all, FEAR.  Fear to speak your truth, or fear to call out lies. I won't call Amber an "a-hole" or a "demon" although I understand how angry and  frightened Doug Stanhope was for his friend when he wrote that article. Initially when this story came out, I lashed out at Amber along with everyone else, calling her a money-hungry opportunist and a perpetrator who is only hurting women who suffer REAL abuse and making it even harder for them to speak out.

But now it is time for compassion.  It is also time to stop being afraid to tell the truth. Above all, it is far and away time to stop bashing anyone who questions  Amber Heard's allegations.  It doesn't help us grow any  more than if her claims are actually credible.  Let's face it.  Too many people have taken Amber's claims as gospel truth, and meanwhile, Johnny Depp is over there in  Europe too shattered by grief for his mother and his crumbling marriage, to even articulate a single sentence, telling HIS side of the story.  Instead of waiting for Johnny to process his pain and letting him be until we hear him speak?  Many people have jumped to the conclusion that the man you admired for so many years, ogled at, laughed with, cried with and appreciated, has been exposed as a monster.  He is no longer Johnny Depp, the great and popular celebrity, but forget that.  He is no longer Johnny Depp, the HUMAN.  He's a soul-less, paranoid, delusional, substance-infused demon who beats women, and many of his former supporters have written him off for good.

That is just--not fair.  I'm sorry but human rights mean exactly that...HUMAN rights.  Dehumanizing men, Caucasians, heterosexuals, what-have-you, those who have discriminated against "minorities" is no better than dehumanizing those whom you still label "minorities" themselves!

Don't you see the problem here?  Don't you see how all this has worked against the human race, not helped it whatsoever?  It's time for a change, people.

Lately, many cases have proven that domestic violence doesn't only happen with a man hitting a woman.  Often, a woman will hit a man, to the point of bruises and even things that threaten their lives.   Many movies like "Moonstruck" where we see Cher slapping Nicholas Cage twice in  one scene, depict women who slap men as somehow sexy and feisty.  We've seen movies where women will throw themselves onto a man and pound on him, only to have the man grab her and kiss her in the end.  How romantic.  Women who hit men are not taken seriously as threats or abusers.  They are seen as "firecrackers" to whom "tough" men are drawn, and cool "inspirations" to women wanting to be strong in a world where once women were expected to be weak.


We need to stop segregating.  We already segregate love.  We segregate homosexuals(same-gender preferance) from heterosexuals(opposite-gender preference).  We also segregate homosexuals by gender.  There are female homosexuals and male homosexuals--lesbian and gay.  Why is there no segregation of bisexuals, i.e. shisexual(female) or hisexual(male)?  Why no segregation of male and female transgenders?  Wait--no.  Transgenders do not always identify with a specific gender, unless they feel closer to one than the other. And--what is "queer" anyway?  Why is that still being used as a description for those who prefer the same sex??  Or--does it mean something DIFFERENT now?  And what the heck is sexually fluid?  Does that mean we only make love under water?  I don't know about you, but my head is spinning with confusion from just typing all this.

It all comes down to labels, people. Labels need to be eliminated from all things love and human. That's the first part of it. The second part is to stop identifying ourselves with what is now a seriously outdated set of rules regarding human rights.  Defamation of any human being without hearing his or her side of the story--needs to stop. Forget about whether it's a woman or a man who claims they were domestically abused.  Forget about whether she is "bisexual" or "heterosexual."  Who cares?? Both parties have a side to the story of their marriage and we were not flies on the wall in Johnny Depp and Amber Heard's home these past fifteen months. Much as some of us would have loved to be--we were not.

Just for perspective, I will consider the idea that Johnny did hurt Amber last Saturday.  What if he actually did do those things and security guards Judge and Bett are lying for him?  Well.  I only see one way that that is a possibility.  I'm sorry but again, if Johnny had been the aggressor and the only violent one all through their marriage, I still say he would have kissed Amber's rear end until his lips turned brown, once she made her requests in the divorce complaint.

As previously stated, Judge and Bett also said that Amber often attacked Johnny and they had to pull her off of him. Johnny was raised to be a gentleman and has held true to that upbringing.  One of the rules every gentleman holds true? You do NOT raise your hand to a woman, no way, no how. You treat her like a lady at all costs. Even if she is raging, pounding and battering you, you take the bruises and move on.

What if Johnny Depp finally snapped?

Several men I know have had histories with violent girlfriends and spouses.  They took the blows and didn't raise a finger to defend themselves because that is not how they were raised.  However, when one of them finally snapped and hit his wife back, the police were called.  He was arrested and thrown in jail, but thankfully his wife dropped the charges later. However, in many cases, men in those situations usually spend several years in prison.  Even if they report--with evidence AND witnesses, that they were assaulted for a long time before they hit back, they are guilty.  Why? Because they are men, and the ones who filed the assault charges--were women.  Violent women, yes, but still women.

People--this is no smoke-and mirrors story, nor is it an excuse for men to keep battering women.  It is CERTAINLY not hero-worship of Johnny Depp.   This is REALITY, and it's time it was brought to the light.

Johnny Depp, if he actually did hit  Amber Heard at any time during their marriage might just have acted in self-defense.  However, in writing all this, I still have yet to hear Johnny tell his side of it. I will now reserve speculation on whether any physical violence happened between them until Johnny opens his mouth to speak.

Until then, I will throw my lot in with Doug Stanhope's account. There doesn't have to be physical violence involved to emotionally blackmail and abuse a person in a relationship.   Johnny Depp's attitude, silence, and refusal to give spousal support are a clear indication that nothing, whatsoever, happened at his hands to warrant a criminal investigation.

It's anyone's guess as to whether it would have gone public or not, had Johnny given Amber half his fortune when first approached.  If he had, and Amber had still said that Johnny abused her, I would have given a bit more weight to her claims.  Still, all the discrepancies don't go away if you try to look at the photograph from a different angle.  Nor would using Photoshop help it either.

Let's all stop the hate game now.  Let's stop the blame game.  Amber may have done a mean thing to Johnny, Johnny may have done mean things to Amber--but at the end of the day, we all are works in progress as humans.  Say what you will about Johnny's temper, but all I have heard to be proven true were this.  The only ones that suffered any kind of assault at all, were articles of furniture, walls, or other inanimate objects.  That, my friends, is not physical abuse of a person.   It is violent and scary to watch, but feel free to leave the room if you see someone doing that.  It is most definitely the wisest course of action to take.  Let the raging person break anything he wants. As long as he or she are not breaking your bones!

Now...if I hear anything about Joe Perry's guitar, which he smashed up at the Hollywood Vampires concert last Tuesday in New York, filing a complaint of assault?  I'll retract that last paragraph once and for all.

Meanwhile, I've yet to hear iO Tillet Wright support Heard's story.  She also is famous for promoting mental health awareness.  Living with  Depression and receiving treatment that has helped iO as much as she's written about it?  She would know all the signs if Amber is lying.  Most likely, if she's called Amber out, they are keeping it very hush-hush until Amber gets enough therapy and awareness to finally talk about it.  There is no doubt that Amber is a wounded, hurting soul, and perhaps her issues stem from trauma as a child, as well as mental illness.  Regardless....I wish nothing for her but to find peace, healing and comfort as she grows in her path.

Love, harmony, respect and peace between all humans is what's important here now.  Let's stop hating and start waiting.  Wait for all stories to be told.  And let's work together, not separately, to build a better planet for our children and grandchildren.  

I believe that deep inside as all, we have the power to do this.  What do you say, folks?  Are you in?